


The Darkness Within

by BrokenBookAddict



Series: Falling into darkness [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode tag 4x18, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love, Romance, SnowHarry, Snowells, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-24 16:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14359671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBookAddict/pseuds/BrokenBookAddict
Summary: A series of moments set during and after 4x18.





	1. Calm Before The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own The Flash. What I do own are any errors. 
> 
> Follows on from my other fic, Falling In Deeper. :)

As Harry theatrically leaves the room, the others file out after him now that the demonstration is over they all leave the speed lab, the team splitting up in different directions and Caitlin wanders off in search of Harry.  
  
Rounding the corner intent on passing by his workshop before she returns to the cortex, Caitlin is startled when a hand reaches out and yanks her into a empty room, a room they barely ever use apart from for storage. "What the..." Her eyes find Harry's as he presses her back into the wall beside the open door with his body. "Can I help you, Dr Wells?"  
  
Harry narrows his eyes at her teasing, his hands on her hips tightening as he presses harder against her. "A big tuning fork? Really, Caitlin?"  
  
"That's what it is." She shrugs her shoulders, innocence plastered across her pretty face. "You're not upset, are you?" Her fingers trail across his jaw tantalisingly slow, feeling the slight prick of stubble beneath her fingertips.  
  
Even though he's not serious, he scowls down at her, trying to ignore her teasing words and her touch. "Upset? Of you mocking my creations..." He leans forward and brushes his lips with hers. He can tease too and he smirks when she groans when he pulls his mouth away. "Of course I'm not upset. But for future reference, it's called the sonic scepter." he adds the last part with a rather dramatic flair. "Not a tuning fork."  
  
It reminds her a little of HR and his enthusiasm for well... All things, just like his behaviour had earlier in the speed lab. She doesn't have much time to think that over though because his mouth is back on hers, kissing her slowly, unhurried in his exploration of her mouth.  
  
After a few minutes pass, he finally pulls away and Harry rests his forehead against hers, breathing a little ragged from their shared kiss.  
  
"Is that why you didn't come by last night?"  
  
"Hmm that and trying to figure out the pocket predictor of where DeVoe's gonna turn up next."  
  
Caitlin's eyes rake over him as she tightens her fingers into his sweater at his chest, that he wears beneath his jacket. "How are you feeling?" She asks quietly, looking for any sign that something is wrong with him.  
  
Harry rolls his eyes and sighs in exasperation at her fussing. "I'm fine, just like I've told you the other one hundred times you've asked previously. The cap's working great, I'm feeling great." He shrugs, as if her concern isn't needed but to her it is.

Because despite his reassurances, she feels like something isn't right with him but for now, she keeps that thought to herself. The last thing they need right now is an argument especially after the morning they've had and with his behaviour lately that seems to be a constant possibility. His mood swings are worrying but for now she'll bite her tongue and not say anything.  
  
Sliding her hands down his chest, she offers him a smile as she nods. "Okay, well I'll see you later."  
  
Harry leans in to kiss her quick before stepping back. "How's those tests coming that you were running?"  
  
"Good. That's where I'm going now, to check the results." Caitlin offers him a wave as she stands in the doorway.  
  
They share a smile then she's gone, leaving him standing there in the empty room as she heads for the cortex.

A feeling of guilt settling over him for lying to her but there's no way he can tell her the truth, she'd never forgive him for putting his life at risk, even if to him, it's for a worthy cause.  
  
Tbc...


	2. Altercation

Walking down the hall on the way to search for Cisco, Caitlin lifts a hand to absently rub at the now healed wound on her chest. It was true what she'd told Ralph, Iris and Barry, the samurai stabbing her had only encouraged her willingness to find and take down DeVoe. If she were pissed before, she is even more so now.  
  
She is so lost in her thoughts that she hasn't realised someone is walking towards her until she almost collides with them. Looking up to see who she'd almost ran down, her eyes find those familiar stunning blue eyes of Harry staring back at her.  
  
"Are you alright? I heard what happened, shouldn't you be taking it easy?"  
  
Caitlin shrugs, her right hand raising to move aside her top, giving Harry a clear view of her upper chest and neck. "It's all good, Barry said I frosted out when he got me back here and by the time I woke up, it was healed."  
  
Harry nods, his fingers brushing against her skin where she'd been stabbed by the samurai.  
  
"It's fine, honestly, Harry." And that's the truth but It's then that she looks at him, really looks at him and she finally notices his demeanour. Behind the obvious concern for her, he seems agitated and annoyed. "Are you okay?"  
  
It is obviously the wrong thing to ask because he snaps back at her. "Will you stop asking me that!" Immediately he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration as his face softens slightly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you, I've just lost something and I'm trying to find it."  
  
"Alright." Her eyes found Harry's, looking for any sign that he is okay but all she finds staring back at her in the depths of his eyes is exasperation and annoyance. This is what she'd been talking about, his moods changing in a second, one moment he's her concerned lover the next he's snapping at her over a simple question. She decides to change the subject. "Have you seen Cisco?"  
  
He shakes his head, not saying anything.  
  
"I'll check the speed lab then." She reaches out for his hand as she starts to pass by him. "You know where I am if you need me."  
  
His hand tightens around hers as he nods. His eyes catching hers and it seems her concerned lover his back. "I'm really glad you're okay, I don't know what I'd do if..."  
  
"Me either." She knows what he means without him having to finish because she feels the same way about him. Life without Harry in it doesn't bare thinking about for her. Smiling at him, she backs away. "Later," is all she offers with a smile as she walks away, off in search of Cisco.  
  
Five minutes and a wasted trip to the speed lab later, Caitlin is heading back the way she came heading for Cisco's workroom when as she rounds the corner and almost collides but this time, with Joe.  
  
Automatically he reaches out to steady her, an apology falling from his lips as he does.  
  
Caitlin waves his apologies away. "It was my fault, I was world's away lost in thought." When she takes a second to take in his expression, what she finds troubles her. It's his serious, concerned face. The face he normally wears when someone is in danger, normally a member of the team. "What's wrong? Has something happened?"  
  
"Harry's what's happened. I saw him going into the vault and after he left I went in to find the cap hooked up to all these cables. I took it and Harry didn't react well to that."  
  
Caitlin swallows hard at what she is hearing but it explains Harry's earlier agitation about his misplaced item. An uneasy feeling settles into her stomach. "What do you mean he didn't react well? I haven't long spoken with him."  
  
Joe runs a hand over his tired face and leans into the wall beside him. "He assumed Cisco had taken it and attacked him."  
  
"What?!" It comes out far louder than she intended. She doesn't get a reply from Joe because footsteps are heard approaching from behind him only for Cisco to appear looking a little rattled. Immediately she rounds on him, concern for him obvious. "Are you alright? What happened?"  
  
Pointing behind him in the direction of his workroom where she assumes Harry still is, Cisco answers her. "He's gone insane that's what happened. He trashed my model enterprise then started throwing things about before he..."  
  
"Attacked you," Caitlin's whispered words finish for him.  
  
Cisco frowns at how that sounds. "It wasn't all that..."  
  
"Cisco." The tone of Joe's voice tells him to stop trying to simplify or justify what just happened.  
  
"I'll talk to him."  
  
Concern floods Joe. "Is that wise?" Obviously not thinking its a grand idea for Caitlin to be alone with Harry and his volatile attitude.  
  
"He won't hurt me. You guys go ahead, I'll meet you in the cortex after I speak with him to go over the pocket predictor." She looks at Cisco. "That's actually why I was looking for you."  
  
The men opposite her nod, both still looking hesitant to leave her to talk with Harry but they trust her to know that she can handle it so they start to make their way passed her.

Walking the short distance around the corner, Caitlin arrives in the doorway. Her eyes immediately find Harry, hands resting against the desk on either side of the cap with his head bowed. She can practically feel the tension in the room.  
  
"What the hell did you do?" It seems to be a rhetorical question because she gives him no opportunity to answer. "You attacked Cisco! And you've been lying to me, because clearly you're not fine." She waits and waits giving him some time, to answer, to look at her even... Anything but nothing comes. "Don't you have anything to say? An excuse for your behaviour, an explanation... something!"  
  
That finally makes Harry look at her, the haunted look in his eyes makes her ache but she resolves to stand her ground. She's not giving in, not this time when he's in the wrong without a doubt.  
  
"I'm sorry," he tells her quietly, dropping his head back down, his shoulders slumping.  
  
"I'm not the only one you should be apologising too." Caitlin pushes her hair away from her face. "I told you I'm here, whenever you need me and that will always be true. I told you that I'm here to help with whatever you need, like I have been trying to do but that was before this..."  
  
Harry looks up quickly, taking a faltering step in her direction. "Caitlin..."  
  
Caitlin holds up her hand to stop him. "Don't. The only thing I want from you right now is for you to think, to really think for yourself without that cap and take a look around. See what using that thing is doing to yourself and how it's affecting the people you care for and who care about you." She shakes her head, feeling like she's repeating a conversation they've already had. "This..." Pointing at the thinking cap beside him on the desk. "This isn't who you are, you're better than that, I know that and the sooner you remember that the better. For your sake and everyone else's... For me."

He takes a step towards her and she steps back, keeping the distance between them.

"Caitlin..."

"I can't keep watching you do this to yourself, I don't want to lose you Harry. Don't you understand that?"  
  
And then Caitlin's walking away, leaving Harry standing there staring at the empty doorway, thinking over her pleading words for him to stop all this madness.  
  
Tbc...


	3. Darkness Exposed

Harry looks up from the tablet in his hands, back at Caitlin. "So, Killer Frost is..."  
  
"Gone," she quietly finishes for him, dragging her eyes away from him to the screen beside her that is littered with post it notes between her and Frost.  
  
An ache settles in her stomach, raising up through her and it almost feels suffocating. She feels strangely empty when she takes a moment to think about it through the daze of shock that comes with the realisation her alter ego is gone or rather has been taken by DeVoe. It's strange, all this time she's had Killer Frost within her, at the beginning against her will thanks to Barry changing the timeline, all that time trying to find a cure to rid herself of that side until now. Now that she's finally found some sense of peace, of understanding, it's all been for nothing. Because she's gone... Caitlin can feel her emotions rising and she looks back at Harry to find him staring at her.  
  
"Ramon? Can you leave us alone?"  
  
Cisco looks torn, glancing from his best friend sat on the bed to the man standing at his side.  
  
Caitlin sensing his hesitation nods her head, reassuring him. It seems he's still feeling wary after what happened earlier in his work room.  
  
Cisco sets down the dark matter scanner on the table beside him, not paying much attention to notice Harry taking a step away. As he walks away to leave the room, Harry's voice stops him.  
  
"Ramon..." Harry starts, looking slightly uncomfortable as the younger man turns to him. "I'm sorry... about earlier... I shouldn't have-" He stops when Cisco waves his hand.  
  
"No you shouldn't have but it's done."  
  
And that seems to be it, the conversation if you could call it that, is over as Cisco walks out of the room leaving them alone in the med bay.  
  
Harry turns back to Caitlin, a frown on his face as he looks at her. She looks so small sitting on the medical bed, biting her lip with tear filled eyes. It makes his heart ache.  
  
"She's gone," Caitlin whispers softly, a sense of disbelief surrounding her.  
  
"She is," Harry agrees lightly, his hands settling on her crossed legs, his touch attempting to sooth her. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Yeah," Caitlin nods slightly. "Me too." Un-crossing her legs she shifts so their either side of Harry and she wraps her arms around him. They stay like that for awhile just holding each other. "It feels strange, like an emptiness inside of me, a piece missing."  
  
Harry nods against her shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut against the wave of dizziness that hits him and he sways in her embrace. He's hoping she doesn't notice but it seems he's not that lucky.  
  
Caitlin pulls back, her eyes scanning over him before meeting his gaze. "Are you okay? You seem... off."  
  
Harry feels caught in the middle because if he tells her the truth she'll be pissed without a doubt but if he lies to her and she later finds out... That will be even worse. "I don't feel so great if I'm being honest."  
  
Caitlin runs her hands soothingly down his arms, concern clouding her expression. "What's wrong?"  
  
Dropping his eyes from hers, he rubs a hand over his face. "I did something that I promised I wouldn't do."  
  
Caitlin leans away from his embrace, her eyes narrowing because she knows where this is going. She knows without him having to say the exact words. "You..."  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
When she'd found him in the vault that first time and she'd agreed to help him, he'd promised her that he wouldn't do what she now knows he has. She pushes him back so she can stand, her emotions she can feel rising, anger and annoyance that he would do this, be this stupid. She needs to put distance between them. "You exceeded the level we agreed upon," she states rather than asks. Turning to him, she asks the one thing she's afraid of the answer too. "By how much?"  
  
Harry can feel his hands shaking. He knows this is going to be bad. "I told Gideon to increase the feed to maximum capacity."  
  
Caitlin stares at him in utter disbelief. "Have you lost your mind?! Do you know how dangerous that is?"  
  
"Caitlin..."  
  
"This is why no one could find you after the confrontation with DeVoe."  
  
"I was unconscious in the vault."  
  
"Jesus, Harry. Anything could have happened to you and we wouldn't have known until it was too late." She shakes her head, beyond angry with him. "You could have died, _I_ could have _lost_ you. Did our conversation earlier have no effect? Didn't you think like I asked? You abandoned the plan and risked your life..."  
  
"For you," Harry interrupts her, "and for the team." He runs a hand at his forehead, feeling a headache coming.  
  
"Yes and look how well that's turned out."  
  
Silence falls over them as they stand there staring at each other across the med bay. The gravity of his actions, of the situation hangs heavy between them.

Caitlin looks at him leaning back against the med bed and she can tell he's not right, that's he's clearly feeling the effects of the dark matter. He looks exhausted and dazed, like he's not really _here_. This is it, no more.  
  
"I want that cap gone," she tells him adamantly.  
  
He must get how serious she's being, how serious the situation his because he only nods.  
  
"Give it to Cisco and let him get rid of it."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"No more trips to the time vault to see Gideon either."  
  
Harry's just about to voice his agreement when another wave of dizziness hits him, making him sway on the spot. He covers his eyes with his hand, waiting for it to pass when he feels Caitlin's hands at his waist, steadying him.  
  
"You're not alright and we need to run some tests to figure out what the dark matter has done to your body."  
  
Harry nods, his face wary and open. "I don't feel so great Caitlin," he admits quietly, letting his defences drop down further bearing himself to her.  
  
Caitlin sighs in exasperation, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm still angry and you're not forgiven but we'll figure this out and you will be okay. I promise."  
  
Harry sighs loudly, leaning into her as he drops his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry, you've lost Frost and now you have to deal with this." His hand slides her into her hair. "I'm know I don't deserve you but I'm glad you're here with me."  
  
She shakes her head against his. "I'll always be here Harry by your side, through every dumb decision you make, I'll always be here for you and to pick up the pieces."  
  
"Thank you." It speaks volumes that he doesn't correct her assumption that this was a dumb idea or that he won't make dumb decisions again in future. He knows she knows him too well to deny that.  
  
"Don't thank me yet because you're far from forgiven. The first step is to get rid of the cap," she tells him softly yet seriously. "But for now, we have tests to run and then we're going home. It's been a long few days and we need to rest."  
  
Harry steps back, giving her some space as she turns to the computer beside the medical bed. "Where do you want me, Dr?"  
  
"On the bed please and take of your shirt."  
  
As Harry does as she requests Caitlin takes a few moments to gather herself. Today had been a day of things going from bad to worse. The team is in pieces, with many injured and the loss of Ralph and now she has to deal with the fact that Harry has infected himself, his brain with large amounts of dark matter, the after effects being unknown. It's terrifyingly to think of the possibilities, the ramifications of his actions, of what unknown damage he might have done to himself.  
  
But Caitlin can't dwell on those thoughts, it's only making things worse and stressing her out even more than she already feels. Turning to look at him, she slides a blood pressure cuff onto his bare arm and Caitlin takes solace in what she does best. And that's being a doctor and running tests.  
  
She has to believe that things will be okay, there isn't another alternative, he has to be okay and she'll do anything within her power to make sure that is true.  
  
She needs him in her life, him and his dumb decisions because the alternative doesn't bare thinking about.  
  
The end.


	4. After Everything

Walking into the bedroom from the hall, she wanders over to the bed, dropping down onto it. 

"So, it's done?"  
  
"Yeah, it is. It's long overdue, girl."  
  
"Thank you, Cisco."  
  
"Don't thank me, I'm just glad you talked him into it." Cisco pauses, for a spilt second. "Something else was long overdue too."  
  
Caitlin sighs, knowing immediately exactly what he's talking about. Leaning back into the pillows behind her, she sighs into the phone. "I know, I should've told you sooner." 

"It wasn't an accusation, Cait. Like you _should_ have told us sooner but it would have been nice to know at least."  
  
"I understand that." And she does, of course. "It's just... we were just figuring things out and then before we knew it seven months had passed and it just became a routine to keep things private."  
  
"Private or secret? From your friends?"  
  
"Cisco..."  
  
"Okay, okay. I'll just say I'm happy for you and leave it there."  
  
"Thank you, that's means a lot to me and to Harry."

"Speaking of Harry, how's he doing?" 

"He's doing okay, he's in the shower."

"That's good, I'm glad."

"Are... things good between you two now after what happened?" 

"Things are cool Caitlin, don't worry so much." There's a pause, longer than before. "You're happy though, right? With Harry."

He sounds hesitant to ask and she knows he's worried because of Harry's recent behaviour. 

"I am." She doesn't have to think about it because it is true. She is happy. Even with the mess they're in right now with her powers gone, Ralph dead, the team broken and his use of dark matter, he makes her happy and she couldn't imagine her life without him. "I really am."  
  
"That's good to hear." There's a shuffling on his side of the line before he speaks again. "It's late, I'll let you get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Good night," Caitlin says before the line goes dead. Just as she's about to set her phone down on the nightstand, Harry steps into the bedroom.  
  
"Who was that?" He asks quietly, standing in the doorway clad in only sweatpants having just came out of the shower.  
  
"Cisco."  
  
He pauses with towel drying his hair. "He's done it then?"  
  
"Yeah, the cap's gone."  
  
"Good." He nods. "That's good." He disappears into the bathroom to get rid of his towel before coming back. Walking towards the bed, he drops down onto the left side, burying his face in the pillows.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Better than I was."  
  
Caitlin reaches over and threads her fingers into his damp hair, fingertips massaging his scalp gently.  
  
A groan of appreciation leaves him. "That feels good."  
  
Caitlin smiles, moving down the bed until she's lying beside him, pressed against his side. "The tests were all okay, you're just feeling the after effects of such a large amount of dark matter. You just don't need the cap anymore."  
  
Harry nods his head against the pillow but he doesn't want to talk about that anymore. Opening his eyes to meet hers, a lazy smile on his face as he looks at her, so close beside him.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing." He shakes his head. "You're beautiful, that's all."  
  
"I think that's the meds I gave you talking or maybe we should run some more tests, you might actually have brain damage."  
  
He rolls his eyes at her teasing. "I'm not high, I don't have brain damage and I don't need any of that to tell you you're beautiful."  
  
"Sweet talker."  
  
Harry looks at her, really looks at her and he can't believe she's actually real. Real and in his arms. Through everything that's been thrown at her, she stays strong and even though she said he wasn't forgiven, he knows how forgiving she is.  
  
"I know I've already said it but thank you." Shifting his head on his pillow he closes the gap and presses his lips to hers. He moves his mouth slowly over hers before slipping his tongue into her mouth. Before things got to heated, Caitlin is the one to pull back.  
  
"None of that, Dr Wells. You need to rest."  
  
Harry mock scowls at her. "Fine."  
  
"Don't sulk." She smirks. "It's been a long few days and you've yet to be forgiven."  
  
"Withholding sex, that's a low blow." Harry whines, smiling as she smiles at him. "I am tired though."  
  
"Then sleep," she whispers to him, her fingers back in his hair.  
  
His stunning blue eyes bore into her pretty hazel irises. "I love you," his declaration so open and honest.  
  
After the last few days they've had, it hits her harder than it normally would have. Tears fill her eyes and she nods. "I love you too and I could have lost you," her voice breaks slightly over the words.  
  
"Don't get upset," Harry rushes to tell her, hating to see her cry. "I was stupid and I'm sorry but I'm okay and I'm here."  
  
"Yeah, you are."  
  
Harry rolls onto his back, opening his arms as indication for her to move into his embrace. Once she rests her head on his shoulder he wraps his arms around her.

Caitlin sighs happily, relaxes into his embrace. Her fingers tracing random patterns on his bare chest. "Maybe, when all this is over and we defeat DeVoe, we could take a few days. Maybe visit Jesse."  
  
Harry shifts so he can look down at her. "You'd want to go to Earth two?"  
  
"Why not?" She questions, obviously not needing an answer as she continues on. "The only times I travelled there I didn't get to see much other than being locked in Zoom's lair and gorilla city. It would be nice to see your Star labs, to visit your favourite places and to see Jesse."  
  
"That sounds good. I think you'd like it there, seeing all the differences between our earths."  He smiles down at her. "It's a great idea."  
  
It's nice to be here wrapped in each others arms at the end of such a bad day, or rather a bad few days, to make plans for themselves to spend some time away alone after their upcoming victory in defeating DeVoe. Because they would, beat him that is. Even through all the ups and downs, through everything they've faced as a team and as individuals, Caitlin believes they'll succeed.  
  
Because they all have things to fight for and that thing for her is the man in her arms.   
  
The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely the end, hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading. More Snowells soon.


End file.
